It's been a while since I've last updated my life. I've been taking the easy way out, going with the flow, living my so-called-life. I have become mediocre to my dreams, but more passionate with my principles and beliefs. My Faith has been my only companion in this indescribable journey. It may have saved me from dying.

This is my first time to write again since I decided to become "responsible" with my Life. Inasmuch as I would want to be IN a Relationship, I can't. There are things that I have to understand first and I have to prove to myself that I am strong -- or at least strong enough to stand on my own two feet. I have to learn that even if I'm rich with friends, I can't pretend to live every minute knowing that I have someone to run to -- someone to depend on. I can't. I have to be Responsible.

Although, I must admit, I want someone to be there for me. Someone to Love me. Someone to tell me that it'll all be okay. I'm unconsciously wishing that my Knight will come rescue me from this high-posted, dark and eerie tower that is my nightmare. When I realize that I've been wishing too hard again, keeping my heart back on a pedestal, I STOP.

...

Why is it so damn hard understanding?
When you think pieces fall into place,
it still doesn't fit right.
It Fits.
But just not as comfortable as you have hoped for.


---

Clueless as a bug stuck on a windshield,
Wiped away with the windshield wiper,
Drying up,
Crushed,
Scattered
Falling off the windshield
In the 405.

I wish I couldn't fly.

Remember that no one is alone, struggling in this world. The problem of person A maybe bigger than the problem of person B, or smaller; but the gravity of the problem does not matter. What truly matters is how you see the problem, and what is your plan in conquering it. 2 totally diferent people may have the same problem, but they won't react to it the same. Each one has his/her own opinion, and history; hence, the problem isn't really THE problem at all.

The true problem is perception.

I once told a friend,

"To be able to love someone is the greatest reward in life..
Being loved in return is but a bonus."


---
I know I heard this quote somewhere. I just can't quite figure it out.
Someone help me, please?

Good Job!
Sarcasm attacks again.

YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, I WANNA KNOW YOU...I want to know 26 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other.

1. Can you cook?
2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?
3. What talent do you wish you had?
4. Favorite place?
5. Favorite vegetable?
6. What was the last book you read?
7. Are you Dirty or Clean?
8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?
9. Worst Habit?

HERE COMES THE FUN ...
1. How did we meet?
2. What's your philosophy on life?
3. Negative or Optimistic?
4. What was your dream growing up?
5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?
6. What was your first impression of me?
7. Tell me one weird fact about you:
8. Whats your favorite memory of us?
10. Have you ever kept anything from me?
11. What do you think of me as a Person?
12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?
13. Would you cry for me if I died?
14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
15. If you could change anything about me, would you?
16. How do you fall asleep?
17. Ever gotten angry with me?
18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?
19. If you had one day to live, what would you do?
20. A million bucks.. what would you do with it?
21. What is your worst fear?
22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
23. Can you sing or dance?
24. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest....
25. Will you repost this so I can fill it out ?

Out, you damned spot!


Failure has been a habit for me. No matter how far I go, I always fall down in the same spot.

I hate Failing.
I hate myself for putting myself in this situation.
I hate it.

I just want to vanish, and be missed ... and maybe return.

Maybe.

- It's funny how one day can change your whole life.

-- I should know the difference between what i want and what i need. Sometimes, I do naman. Sometimes.

you shut me off your life for 5 minutes,
and then asked for my forgiveness.
you said i don't deserve being mistreated,
and yet i still feel the same.

if i do not love you,
then why this?
why do i continue to suffer
far away from you?

if you mean nothing,
then why does it hurt?
why do i continue to hold on
to what you think is worth nothing?

i can easily give up all this
just to be with you.
to live my life,
exhausting no pain, no anger, no struggle.


all, with you.


please, prick me no more.
i don't want to be numb.
i don't want to be numb.

if it were 2 years ago, i wouldn't say this at all.
Now, I can.



if you walk out on me,
i'm walking after you.